Perspective

Most of the time my blogs are light-hearted and just informing the blog world about my life. Well, I have decided to throw in a more reflective blog now and again. I am a reflective person....so, I thought I might being sharing some of my reflections.

To start off with this picture. Some may see a young girl while others see an old lady. A few may even be able to see both. It is all in how you look at it or your perspective.

I just got home from my church small group, which is a group of wonderful people I look forward to listening and sharing each week with them. This week we focused on how we handle trials and struggles. Because, we all know church is not for the "perfect," but for the sick and sinners and broken. Chuck started us off with saying, "It is not If you will have a trial....it is WHEN." We each shared how we handled it.

To make a long story short, we ended with how have we or how is God refining us as a person. I began to think. And I thought of something. I wrestled with God in my head for a moment. I didn't want to share how I am being refined. It was too personal and it made me too vulnerable. But, the words were coming out of my mouth before I could get them back in. I said, "I believe God is refining me to being a strong wife. Every time my husband walks out the door to go to work, I have to say a little pray that he will GET to come home." Being a police officers wife is HARD. Michael is constantly reassuring me that he will come home, but it is a daily struggle. I am humbled by how NOT in control I am. He is literally in God's hands when he goes to work. I can't protect him. So, this gives me perspective about love in my marriage. Yes, there are times when I am very lonely. Twelve hour shifts are long and he has to sleep too. But, sleeping or not....he comes home to Audrie and me. I am not saying that we don't disagree at times or that he makes me want to pull out all my hair on occasion. I would rather disagree with him every day than not have him at all. I have loved him since I was eighteen years old. I will continue to love him until my last breathe.

Dear God, refine me all you want! You are the potter, and I am the clay. Mold me into the wife I need to be for my Michael.